Part I: Firsts
To Jenn Meister
A True Friend
Please Don’t Hate Me For This
She’s Not Really You
August 1 A.G. ~ Dr. Smith’s Group’s Hillside Base
Liz watched Tommy go with the rest of the strike force. What they were doing was brave, but stupid. After all that they had been through together, how dare he go off and get killed? She knew that he said that he would come back to her and their baby, but she also knew that no one was likely to return from the mission he was leaving on. This was suicide, plain and simple. Suicide for a noble cause, to be sure. If anyone ever heard of the strike, Tommy and the others would be hailed as martyrs. But still suicide. And she hated him for it. Especially when she had his young daughter and their unborn baby to care for.
Tommy spared a glance back over his shoulder and tried to give Liz a reassuring smile. He hadn’t wanted to go, but he knew that he had to. This would be the single greatest act of his life, even if he didn’t survive. He didn’t want to leave Liz, he loved her, and the fates that had rocked them from the beginning of their history together had seen fit to have them end up together despite insurmountable odds. It wasn’t fair for him to lose that now, so soon. Not when he finally had everything he had dreamed about since childhood. He loved Liz. That was all there was to it. And for that reason alone, he was determined to make it through this mission alive and return to her. For everything that they were to each other, for everything they could be, and for everything that they had already been.
September 5 B.G. ~
“Are you ready to go back?” asked Jason Clucker, sipping his frozen margarita as he floated in the pool. “Only a few more days…”
“To school? No way!” said Liz Payne, lying on the deck nearby to tan in a modest two piece swimsuit. This was unusual for her, as she rarely even wore shorts, let alone let more than her legs show. It wasn’t because she was trying to make a statement. She was just always cold, or so it seemed. But here, near the lake where she had grown up, in the middle of August, she was anything but cold. And it was always good to get a little bit of a tan while she could.
“I’m kind of looking forward to it,” said Nora Rifkin, lying next to Liz with her own alcoholic beverage.
“Why would you look forward to school?” asked Jason.
“We’re not freshmen anymore,” said Nora. “We’re the sophomores. We’re cool now.”
“We were always cool,” said Jason, laughing.
“I am anxious to finish school and start teaching, though,” said Liz. “So we might as well head back to the ol’
“You just want to teach ‘cause you get the summers off,” said Jason. “Lucky bracker.”
“Hey, just because you two wanted to major in music and not teaching, don’t blame me,” said Liz. “Your dumb choice.”
“I am going to be a fabulous opera singer, and I will make tons of money, and then I will laugh at your petty summers off,” said Jason. Nora and Liz exchanged a look and started laughing.
“You have got to come out of the closet,” said Liz.
“How many times do I have to tell you, I am not gay!” said Jason, trying to sit up on his raft without spilling his drink.
“Yeah, right,” said Nora in disbelief.
“Shut up,” said Jason.
“Make me,” said Nora.
“Fine,” said Jason, tumbling off and splashing the girls. He kept his drink raised high in the air, away from the chlorinated water in the pool.
“You ruined my margarita!” yelled Liz, looking out her own drink with disgust.
“That’s what you get,” said Jason. “Oh, by the way, Liz, I signed us up to work the registration table at band camp.”
“You did? Why?” complained Liz.
“Someone has to do it. Besides, that way we can check out all the good looking new freshmen,” said Jason. “We’ve all been single for way too long! Not one of us had more than a casual date or two last year!”
“Fine,” relented Liz. “Although I’m not in any hurry to get involved in a relationship. I’m having enough fun hanging out with my friends. This is college! There’s no need to rush anything. But I’ll work the table with you, as long as Nora sits with us.”
“No can do,” said Nora. “I’m the director’s assistant this year. Do you know how much work I have to do?”
“You volunteered,” said Jason.
“Yeah, because I’m going into music business, and it looks good on my resume,” said Nora. “Not because I wanted to do all of that work.”
“You like doing it,” said Liz.
“I know. Don’t tell anybody,” said Nora.
“Let’s go in. It’s hot out here,” said Jason.
“I think it feels great,” said Liz.
“Didn’t you just get cooled off enough?” laughed Nora to Jason.
“Well, I’m going in. You ladies can join me or not,” said Jason, rising out of the water and heading for Liz’s parents’ house, dripping water from his trunks as he went.
“Fine. We’re coming,” said Liz, picking up her towel. “Let’s just waste the last beautiful day of our summer vacation together sitting in the dreary indoors.”
“Hey, yeah, thanks for inviting us up here,” said Nora. “It’s really a beautiful place.”
“I like it,” said Liz with a shrug, looking across the yard to the small, ranch style house. It was simple, but nice, and located within sight of
“By next summer, we can go over to the island bars and party,” said Jason with a mischievous smile. “Two months and counting, for me. You losers have quite awhile longer.”
“You guys had better wait until I turn twenty-one, too!” said Nora in protest.
“I don’t know. We’ll already be out of school next summer a full week before your birthday,” said Jason. “We may have to go without you.”
“You wouldn’t dare!” said Nora.
“I would!” said Liz.
“You’re supposed to be my best friend!” said Nora.
“Yeah, well, alcohol trumps friendship,” said Liz with a smile, teasing her. She wrapped her towel around her waist. Three more days, and then band camp would begin. Three more days to enjoy the summer weather. Three more days of freedom.
Wester
“Aww, I can’t believe you’re leaving,” said Natalie Mounds. “I’ll never see you again!”
“I’ll be back a couple of days a week to work. The college is in town. I’m not on the other side of the world,” said Tommy Gaines as she watched him pack a suitcase.
“I know, but you’ll be busy with your new friends. First Vince left, and now you. I won’t have anyone to hang out with!”
“You have other friends,” said Tommy.
“Not really. I mean, yes, I do, but they’re all going away to college, too, only further away,” said Natalie.
“What about the ones still in high school with you? You’re a big senior this year,” said Tommy.
“I mostly just hung out with your class,” said Natalie. “Besides, none of them are as fun as you.”
“I’m fun?” asked Tommy, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, you can be. You haven’t been lately. Why are you so depressed?” asked Natalie.
“You know why,” said Tommy.
“The girl thing again?” asked Natalie, rolling her eyes.
“Yes! I’m eighteen years old and I’ve never had a girlfriend!” said Tommy. “Hell, my prom date was a lesbian!”
“Lots of people aren’t in relationships when they’re young,” said Natalie.
“Not really, not at eighteen, and not people like me. I was ready to get married in Kindergarten. I’m a nice guy. Girls only see me as ‘the friend’,” said Tommy.
“You’re a good friend,” said Natalie.
“But I don’t want to just be a friend!” said Tommy, frustration rising in his voice. “I am sick of being just the friend! I want someone to see me as something more!”
“Then grow a pair and ask a girl out,” said Natalie.
“That’s not nice. It’s hard,” said Tommy.
“You’re never going to get a girlfriend if you can’t even work up the courage to ask a girl out,” said Natalie. “Girls like confidence. Quit being a wimp.”
“Thanks for being so supportive,” said Tommy sarcastically.
“That’s what I’m here for,” said Natalie with a smile.
“It doesn’t help. I’m going to be single forever,” said Tommy.
“I’ll tell you what,” said Natalie with a sigh. “When I turn twenty-six, if we’re both still single, I’ll marry you.”
“Really?” asked Tommy, brightening. He had hinted around that he wanted to date Natalie before, without actually asking, but she had brought it up and turned him down flat. He had always thought that she was kind of cute. He would gladly marry her.
“Sure,” said Natalie.
“Why don’t we try dating first?” asked Tommy.
“When I’m twenty-six,” said Natalie. What was she doing? Why had she said that? She liked to make people feel better, but that was a stupid thing to promise. She sure hoped that he’d be married by twenty-six, or she’d have to find some boyfriend. Natalie wasn’t really looking for a serious relationship, and Tommy would be way too intense for her. Marriage was for old people. She decided to change the subject.
“How’s Walt?” she asked.
“Oh, he sore about not getting to play volleyball. They were going to put him on the varsity team, but his scholarship is in music, so marching band had to take priority,” said Tommy. “He’s really mad, but he won’t talk about it.”
“That’s too bad. Did he straighten out the living arrangements?” asked Natalie.
“Not really. He could commute. It isn’t that far. But he’s going to sleep on the floor in my dorm room, this week at least,” said Tommy.
“Poor guy,” said Natalie.
“Well, I guess that’s what you get when you procrastinate,” said Tommy, with a shrug. But he felt really bad for his homeless best friend.
“This is boring!” said Jason.
“Shut up. Cute guy alert,” said Liz as a tall, dark, glowering guy walked quickly into the building.
“Hello,” said Jason to the boy, whom he recognized from the class photo roster posted online as Walter Edmund. Walt brushed right past them without even sparing them a glance.
“What a jerk!” said Liz.
“Um, Tom?” asked a red haired girl. Liz turned around and saw two freshmen standing in front of them at the table. One was a short, average sized girl, and the other was a guy, not quite six feet tall, with brown hair and glasses. He looked geeky, but Liz couldn’t help smiling when she saw him. She wasn’t sure why. Both were carrying small, square, black, plastic cases.
“Hi! I’m Jason Clucker, sophomore, and all around great guy,” said Jason. “Welcome to marching band!”
“Hi, Jason,” said the redhead. “I’m Anne.”
“That’s a pretty name,” said Jason. “For a pretty girl.”
“Thanks,” said Anne, blushing.
“Would you like to get some dinner tonight?” asked Jason.
“Well, um, we’re meeting a friend in the campus center…” said Anne, trailing off with embarrassment.
“I see,” said Jason, sounding a little disappointed.
“You could join us,” suggested Anne.
“Sure,” said Jason. “And this here beside me is my good friend, Liz Payne. She plays clarinet like you guys.”
“Hi, Liz,” said Anne. Tommy still stood still, not speaking.
“So, you’re Tom?” asked Liz, finding his name badge and handing it to him. Her hand touched his. Volts of electricity shot through Liz’s body and she barely managed to hand him the badge without dropping it. She could tell that she was having the same affect on him by the way that his cheeks suddenly flushed.
“Uh, yes, hi,” said Tommy.
“Let me show you to the instrument lockers,” said Liz, getting up and taking Tommy’s arm. She wanted to get him away from Jason, before Jason started hitting on him. He looked to be Jason’s type, even if her friend still insisted that he was straight.
“Liz, you’re supposed to be helping me sign in these freshmen!” complained Jason. “Don’t you dare run off!”
“I’ll be back in a minute,” said Liz. “You’ll be fine.” She led Tommy down a hall, Anne following, unfortunately.
“So, um, Jason. Is he single?” asked Anne.
“Oh, yes, but don’t go there,” said Liz.
“Why not?” asked Anne.
“Because he’s gay!” said Vikki Styles, a senior who was assigning instruments out of a locker.
“He is? But he seemed…,” began Anne.
“He doesn’t know it yet, but he is. Trust me. We’re two of his closest friends,” said Vikki. “I’m Vikki Styles.”
“And I’m Meredith Reel,” said Meredith, Vikki’s friend. “Clarinets? Right this way.” She opened up two lockers for them.
“Shouldn’t you be signing people in, Liz?” asked Vikki.
“I am. I just wanted to show Tommy here around.” Liz made a face. She had never gotten along with the two older girls, and it looked like they weren’t going to give her a break now.
“Uh, huh,” said Meredith. “You’d better get back to the table now. You know you can’t leave Jason alone for two minutes.” Liz turned and stalked off without dignifying them with a response. There would be time to spend with Tommy later.
“Hi, Liz,” said a tall, extremely skinny girl with short dark hair and a long nose. “Have a good summer?”
“It was fine,” said Liz, barely glancing at Jodie Watercrest, the senior assistant field commander to Vikki. Jodie frowned, but Liz didn’t see it.
“So, did you pick your freshman prey of the year?” asked Jason as she returned to the table.
“Shut up,” said Liz, sitting back down. She did like Tommy. She’d have to play it carefully, though. She hadn’t had a boyfriend in over a year, and she didn’t want to seem overeager.
“See you later, Liz,” said Tommy shyly as the girl picked up her case and headed for her car after her roommate, Nora.
“Bye,” said Liz with a smile, walking up the hill without another word to him. His heart melted.
“Hi, Tommy,” said Jodie, the senior assistant field commander. They had had a couple of brief conversations in passing, and Tommy found her very friendly and easy to get along with. They were quickly becoming friends.
“Hi, Jodie,” said Tommy.
“How’s it going?” asked Jodie.
“Not too bad. How about you?” asked Tommy.
“Not bad. A bunch of us are going to play a little capture the flag tomorrow during our afternoon break. Are you in?”
“Sure,” said Tommy.
“You can invite Liz, too, if you want to,” said Jodie.
“Why would I invite Liz?” asked Tommy.
“It’s obvious that you like her,” said Jodie.
“It is?” asked Tommy.
“Yeah. You should ask her out,” said Jodie.
“Well, I saw you eyeing Roger,” said Tommy.
“Who?” asked Jodie.
“The guy that my friend Levi brings around to watch us practice,” said Tommy.
“Yeah, he’s easy on the eyes,” admitted Jodie. “Levi is nice, too.”
“You should ask him out,” said Tommy.
“Who? Levi?” asked Jodie in confusion.
“No. Roger,” said Tommy.
“I might,” said Jodie with a smile. “Anyway, see you tomorrow!”
“Bye,” said Tommy. He turned back to the bench to put away his instrument.
“What are you up to after practice tonight?” asked Anne Steiman of Tommy as they packed up their clarinets.
“Nothing that I know of,” said Tommy. “I was going to try to cheer Walt up, but my hall advisor found out about him sleeping on our floor and he’s not allowed to stay in my room anymore. Walt said that he was just going home and going to bed.”
“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” asked Anne.
“Sure,” said Tommy. “Should we call Levi?”
“I… think he said that he’s busy tonight,” said Anne, who was angling for some alone time with her new friend, whom she hoped would soon become more than that. They had been hanging out at every meal, every night, every everything. As the only two clarinet playing music education majors at the college, they would be in every class together for the next four years, too. It was perfect.
“Ok,” said Tommy, shrugging. “We could invite other people, if you wanted to.”
“Like who?” asked Anne hesitantly.
“Um, anyone. Meredith, Vikki, Jodie, Tony, Nora, Liz, Jason…,” said Tommy, looking over at Liz and her roommate Nora, who also played clarinet in the marching band. Liz was a piano major, and Nora was studying business. “What about Jason? How goes your wooing of him?”
“Oh, he’s definitely gay. I’m not pursuing that,” said Anne, trying to hint that she was thinking of someone else. “I’d rather not have a big crowd tonight. I’m kind of tired.”
“Ok,” said Tommy. “What movie do you want to watch?”
“I don’t know,” said Anne. “I have some great romantic comedies in my room.”
“Great! I love chic flicks,” said Tommy enthusiastically. Anne smiled. A boy who would watch the sappy movies with her. Excellent. She picked up her case.
“So, dinner?” she asked.
“Sure,” said Tommy. “Cafeteria food ok?”
“Yeah. I’m broke and we already paid for the meals there in our camp fees. We might as well use them,” said Anne.
“I’ll meet you up there,” said Tommy.
“Ok,” said Anne uncertainly, leaving him by the field.
“Hi, Jason,” said Tommy, approaching the friendly sophomore mellophone player. In Wind Ensemble, the small, higher skilled, concert band, Jason and Tommy sat side by side playing low clarinets. They had only had one rehearsal since school hadn’t even started yet, but it was clear that two of them were going to get along very well. That is, if the director didn’t mind them goofing off instead of paying attention.
“Hi, Tom,” said Jason. “Going to dinner?”
“Yep,” said Tommy.
“Mind if I walk up with you?” asked Jason.
“Sure,” said Tommy. The two started heading across the campus towards the dining hall. Tommy nervously searched for the right words to ask the other guy. “So, how’s camp?” was what he settled on, which wasn’t exactly what he wanted to ask, but he guessed that it would be a decent start.
“Not bad,” said Jason. “I always dread going back until I get here, and then I have a blast.”
“I know what you mean,” said Tommy. “I was so dreading coming here, and now I’ve met so many cool, new people, I don’t know why I wasn’t excited.”
“Yeah, well, that’s because you’re one of the decent freshmen,” said Jason. “We got some real jerks this year. Have you met that tuba player, Walt?”
“Um, yes, we went to high school together,” said Tommy. “He’s my best friend.”
“Oh, sorry dude,” said Jason.
“I was kind of wondering… what’s the story on Liz Payne?” asked Tommy. Jason gave him a funny look.
“What do you mean?” asked Jason.
“She seems cool, and she’s your friend, so I was just wondering what she was like,” said Tommy.
“She’s pretty cool,” said Jason. “We went up to her house by
“I mean, um, well, is she… does she have a boyfriend?” asked Tommy nervously, palms starting to sweat.
“No,” said Jason, looking at him in that funny way again.
“Do you think that maybe she might, I don’t know, be interested in me a little?” asked Tommy.
“Do you think she is?” asked Jason.
“I have no clue,” said Tommy.
“Well I don’t pretend to know what’s going on in her head,” said Jason. “You’d have to ask her.”
“Ok,” said Tommy. “Ok.”
“Let’s eat. I’m starved!” said Jason.
“Ok,” said Tommy, wishing that the conversation had given him more confidence. He had never actually asked a girl out before, and he really didn’t know how.
“How is our favorite freshman?” asked Meredith Reel, joining Jason and Tommy with her best friend, Vikki, in tow.
“He’s got a little crush,” said Jason.
“Yeah, we know,” said Meredith.
“Everyone knows,” said Vikki. “Could you be more obvious?”
“That doesn’t make me feel better,” said Tommy. “Does she like me, though?”
“You’re better off if she doesn’t,” said Vikki. “But whatever. It’s your life. Your decision.”
“Thanks,” said Tommy, but he didn’t mean it.
“Hey, we have an idea that might cheer your friend Walt up,” said Meredith slyly. Vikki punched her arm.
“Quiet! It’s a secret. You’re just going to have to wait for the talent show later this week,” said Vikki.
“What’s up?” asked Liz.
“Where were you at dinner?” demanded Jason.
“Oh, Nora and I went down the street and got a hamburger,” said Liz.
“You already paid for the cafeteria! Why waste more money?” asked Jason.
“Have you eaten at the cafeteria?” asked Liz, making a face. “I wouldn’t have paid if I’d had a choice.”
“Well, thanks for abandoning me,” said Jason.
“Did you have to sit all by yourself?” asked Liz. “What about Tony?”
“No, I wasn’t by myself. I sat with Tony, Anne, and Tom,” said Jason, emphasizing the last name.
“Ooh, dining with the freshmen,” said Liz teasingly.
“What are you doing with Tom?” asked Jason.
“What do you mean?” asked Liz.
“You like him! I know you do,” said Jason.
“Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t,” said Liz cryptically.
“See? That’s what I mean,” said Jason. “You like him, but you’ve just been playing with him. That boy is so nervous around you that he can’t tell which way up is.”
“Oh, come on,” said Liz. “He’s not that bad.”
“He is! The only one that doesn’t see that is you, because you’re dumb, and Anne, because she’s so smitten with Tom herself, that she isn’t looking at the competition,” said Jason.
“Are they going out?” asked Liz, a spark of jealousy creeping into her voice. She tried to cover it up. “Not that I care.”
“No, he’s not into her. He’s into you,” said Jason. “Just talk to him about it already so the rest of us can have some peace around here!”
“If he likes me so much, why doesn’t he just ask me out?” asked Liz in frustration.
“He isn’t sure that you like him, and he’s scared to,” said Jason. “I don’t think he’s ever had a girlfriend before.”
“Whoa, buster. Slow down there. Who said anything about girlfriend? I said I wanted to go on a date with the guy, not marry him,” said Liz.
“Whatever. The point is, he isn’t getting your subtle signals. You’re going to need to turn things up a notch,” said Jason.
“I will not!” said Liz. “That’s not what girls are supposed to do. The guy is supposed to ask us out.”
“Quit living in the last century,” said Jason.
“There’s nothing wrong with being old fashioned,” said Liz.
“Yeah,” said Jason sarcastically. “Old fashioned is the first thing that springs to mind when I think of you.”
“Lay off,” said Liz. “Why do you care, anyway?”
“Because he’s a nice guy and I want to be his friend, but I can’t if all he is going to do all of the time is pine after you!” said Jason. “Talk to him! Sort this out.”
“I will wait for him to talk to me, thank you very much,” said Liz, turning and walking away.
“He’d better do it fast,” said Jason sourly.
“Hey, Liz,” said Tommy, catching up to her outside of the music building.
“Hi, Tom,” said Liz, giving him a smile. Tommy couldn’t be sure, but he felt like she was being even friendlier towards him than usual, so he decided to try to prolong the conversation.
“Are you heading back to your dorm?” he asked.
“Yep. We’ve got an hour until the talent show,” said Liz.
“Hi, guys,” said Nora, running up to them. Tommy inwardly cursed. He had hoped to actually get to have his first uninterrupted conversation with Liz. Oh, well. It would have to wait for another time.
“Is the talent show any good?” asked Tommy.
“It’s the best part of band camp!” said Nora. “I am so disappointed that I’m not going to get to go to it.”
“Why not?” asked Liz.
“My mom is coming up to take me out to a late dinner. I didn’t have the heart to tell her no, after running off and staying at your house for the last couple of weeks of the summer. She’s going to be here in an hour,” said Nora.
“That’s too bad,” said Tommy. Suddenly he had an idea about a way to impress Liz. It was a card trick that his grandfather had always told him that he should use, but he had never seen a perfect opportunity to do it until right this moment. It was only seven in the evening. His grandparents would still be awake. “Hey, want to see a really neat trick?”
“Sure!” said Liz.
“Ok,” agreed Nora.
“Do you have a deck of cards?” asked Tommy.
“Back in the room,” said Liz.
“Mind if I come and show you something?” asked Tommy.
“I’m game,” said Liz.
“Me, too,” said Nora. “There’s nothing else to do for the next hour, anyway.”
“Great,” said Tommy. They had reached the girls’ building by now, which he suddenly realized was in the opposite direction from his own dorm. If the girls had noticed that he was walking the wrong way, they hadn’t said anything. Ah, well. It was worth the walk to be in Liz’s company.
“Come on up,” said Nora, swiping her card in the door’s scanner lock. The three of them climbed the stairs to Nora and Liz’s little dorm room.
“I have to use the restroom really quick,” said Tommy.
“Right down that hall, last door on the left,” said Liz.
“Great. I’ll be right back,” said Tommy. He rushed down the hall and ducked into the stairwell on the opposite end. He quickly pulled out his cell phone and called his Grandfather. “Hi, Grandpa.”
“Hi, Tommy! How’s college?” asked his grandfather.
“Great. I will call to talk to you later, I promise, but I was wondering if we could do The Wizard really quick,” said Tommy.
“Sure!” said his grandfather. “Trying to impress some girls? You know, your Uncle Jack met his wife with that trick.”
“I know,” said Tommy. “I’ll call you back in just a minute.”
“Ok,” said his grandfather. Tommy hung up the phone and rushed back to the girls.
“Here are the cards,” said Liz, watching him curiously. Nora looked on with interest, too.
“Great. Thanks,” said Tommy shuffling the deck. “Now pick a card. Any card. Show it to me.”
“I don’t get it,” said Nora. “We can’t show you the card! Then you’ll know what it is.”
“Show it to me, and then I’ll call The Wizard,” said Tommy.
“The Wizard?” asked Nora.
“Yeah. I won’t actually tell you what your card is. He will,” said Tommy with a smile. He pulled his phone out of his front shorts pocket and dialed.
“Hmm,” said Liz thoughtfully, intrigued.
“Hearts, diamonds, spades…,” said Tom’s grandfather as Tommy pretended to be listening to ringing.
“Hello, is The Wizard there?” asked Tommy, interrupting him in the middle of the suite list.
“Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…,” said his grandfather over the phone quietly.
“I’d like to speak to The Wizard,” said Tommy. He smiled and nodded, as if talking to someone on the other end. He handed the phone to Liz.
“What’s my card?” Liz asked the phone. Tommy couldn’t hear his grandfather say the eight of spades, but he saw Liz’s (and Nora’s, who was listening in next to her roommate) face fall in shock. She looked in wonderment at Tommy as she hung up the phone and handed it back to him. “How did you do that?”
“I have many tricks,” said Tommy with a smile.
“You certainly do,” said Liz, smiling back. They sat there in silence for a moment, looking at each other. She broke it, standing up and shaking her head. “I’m going to run down to the bathroom myself. I’ll be right back.” She left the room.
“You missed it,” said Nora, clucking her tongue.
“Missed what?” asked Tommy.
“That was the perfect moment to ask her out!” said Nora.
“What makes you think that she wanted me to?” asked Tom.
“Just do it, you idiot!” said Nora.
“Now? Like when she comes back?” asked Tommy.
“No, the moment is over. But do it soon,” said Nora.
“It’s a shame Nora couldn’t make it,” said Tony Vista, Jason’s best friend and roommate, as Liz and Jason re-entered the dark auditorium and sat down. “You guys made it back just in time for the last song. Where were you, anyway?”
“Bathroom,” said Liz.
“You are such girls,” said Tony.
“Look at those freshmen in the front row,” said Jason. “They’re like eager little beavers. How typical.”
“They’re such dorks! But fun dorks,” said Tony.
“Yeah. That Tommy is kind of cute,” said Liz.
“Only if you like boys,” said Jason. Tony rolled his eyes.
“You’ve been avoiding him all week!” Tony said to Liz.
“I spent some time with him earlier tonight. Better to play hard to get and have him come to me,” said Liz.
“Shh! Vikki and Meredith are starting!” said Jason. “They look hot!” Liz rolled her eyes with Tony this time. When was Jason just going to just admit what they all already knew? But they shut up anyway, and sat back to watch the show, which was currently starring Vikki and Meredith, pretty close friends of Jason’s.
Early into their song, Vikki moved to Tom and threw her pink boa around his neck. Liz fumed in her seat. How dare that stupid girl, whom she had never liked anyway, move in on Tom? Everyone knew that Liz liked him! Jason patted her arm. Meredith headed for Walt.
“Relax. Vikki is not interested in Tom,” Jason whispered to Liz.
“Then why is she acting like a total miro?” asked Liz.
“Shush!” scolded Jason. Vikki and Meredith were moving towards the sophomores now. They each grabbed one of Jason’s arms and yanked him out of his seat. They pulled him back onstage with them to finish the song. Jason grabbed both of their boas and started dancing wildly. Vikki and Meredith exchanged a glance.
Liz rolled her eyes, but put up a smile to be supportive of Jason. She stood and walked with Tony towards the front of the stage, as Tommy and Tony congratulated the performers.
“Jason, you were great, too,” said Tony, following Liz up.
“I was fabulous!” proclaimed Jason.
“You certainly were. I’m going to take off,” said Liz.
“Aw, you’re not coming to the party?” asked Jason.
“No. I’m tired,” lied Liz, who just didn’t like Vikki and Meredith very much. She waved at Jason and walked away, ignoring Tommy. If she read him right, he would follow her. She had encouraged him this evening with that card trick, which she still couldn’t figure out. It was pretty neat. Surely he had picked up on her interest by now. She began to think that she had been wrong, until she heard the pattering of footsteps running to catch up with her.
“Hey, Liz! Wait up!” said Tommy.
“Oh, hi, Tommy,” said Liz, as if just noticing him. She stopped walking and waited for him to catch up. She also grimaced. Why had she called him Tommy? She much preferred Tom. She must have heard Walt complaining about it too much this week.
“Don’t feel like partying?” Tommy asked her.
“Not really,” said Liz, smiling. “There are other things that I’d much rather do than get drunk.”
“Like what?” asked Tommy as they resumed walking.
“Oh, I don’t know,” said Liz, waiting impatiently for him to make his move. What was taking him so long? She decided to prompt him a little. “Was there something that you wanted?”
“No. I was just walking this way, so I figured that I’d walk with you,” said Tommy. She didn’t believe him, and decided to call him on it this time, unlike she had done earlier.
“Isn’t your dorm the other way?” asked Liz.
“Yes, yes it is,” said Tommy. Liz waited expectantly. “Well, actually, there was something that I wanted to ask you. Would you maybe like to, sometime…”
“Yes,” said Liz, interrupting him, unable to help herself. Playing it cool all week had been harder than she let on.
“So, like, maybe tomorrow…,” began Tommy.
“Sounds great,” said Liz. “Where are you taking me?”
“I don’t know,” said Tommy, who seemed to lose a little of his nervousness. “Dinner and a movie? Or is that too boring?”
“Sure. Whatever you want to do,” said Liz.
“Awesome,” said Tommy.
“You know, I think I changed my mind about the party. I’m going to run upstairs and change. You are more than welcome to come up and wait for me, but you don’t have to,” said Liz, suddenly in the mood to go drinking. She had reason to celebrate now.
“I’ll wait out here,” said Tommy. Liz smiled at him and touched his arm, then went upstairs to change. After a week of semi-patient waiting, she finally had a date with Tom Gaines. She wasn’t sure what made him special, but something sure did. She wondered if he had a few more tricks up his sleeve, like he claimed to. She couldn’t wait to find out.
“Hi, Tommy,” said Jodie. “Mind if I sit with you guys?”
“Sure. Have a seat,” said Tommy. He was at a table in the cafeteria with Levi and Walt. Normally seniors didn’t eat in the cafeteria, as they didn’t have to buy a meal plan, but since this was the last day of band camp, Jodie was taking advantage of her last meal.
“Did you ask her out yet?” asked Jodie.
“Ask who out?” asked Walt, perking up from his glumness, which while it had spoiled the first impression he had made on most of the students around here, hadn’t spoiled his appetite in the least.
“Liz, of course,” said Jodie. “You’re his best friend. You’re supposed to notice when he likes someone!”
“How did you know I was his best friend?” asked Walt. “You’ve never even met me!”
“Well, I would have, if you weren’t walking around here with a stick up your butt,” said Jodie. “But I did meet Tommy, and he told me about you. So, Tommy, did you ask her?”
“Um, yeah,” said Tommy sheepishly.
“What did she say?” asked Levi eagerly, leaning in.
“She said yes. We’re going out tonight,” said Tommy.
“How dare you not tell me about that!” said Walt.
“Like she said, you’ve had other things on your mind,” said Tommy.
“Congratulations, man,” said Levi.
“Thanks,” said Tommy. He looked at Jodie. “How about you? Did you ask him out?”
“Ask who?” asked Levi, looking back and forth between Jodie and Tommy.
“Yeah. He turned me down. But he was nice about it,” said Jodie.
“That’s good, at least,” said Tommy.
“Ask who?” demanded Levi. Walt had lost interest in the conversation again, and had gone back to woofing down his food.
“That’s really great,” said Jodie. “Is that why Anne isn’t speaking to you?”
“What?” asked Tommy. “I knew she had been distant, but…”
“Yeah. All that time that you were spending together… she liked you,” said Jodie. “She’s probably upset that you didn’t ask her out instead.”
“Did you lead Anne on?” Levi asked him accusingly.
“No! I had no clue!” said Tommy. “I guess that makes sense. She started being cold when she heard about Liz and I.”
“Well, good luck on your date,” said Jodie.
“Thanks,” said Tommy.
“I had a fantastic time,” said Liz as the two of them stopped walking outside of her dorm building.
“Me, too,” said Tommy. Liz turned to face him. He couldn’t help but notice that she was wearing jeans, despite the heat of the September evening. He hadn’t been, and her hand had brushed his leg when she had reached for his hand in the movie theatre. His skin still tingled from the memory of that first touch.
“Want to do it again sometime?” he asked her, unable to think of anything else to say.
“Yeah, I would,” said Liz with a smile.
“Ok. Well. Then. I guess, good night,” said Tommy, but he didn’t leave. Neither did she. He didn’t know if she had moved, or if he had, but suddenly he found their faces almost inches apart. The tension was thick in the air. Tommy tried to work up the courage to lean forward, but he just couldn’t. What if she didn’t want him to kiss her? True, she had gone out with him, and had a good time, and held his hand in the movie. Now she was holding his hand again, both of them this time. Was this right? Why was he overanalyzing everything? Why couldn’t he just live in the moment?
“Good night,” said Liz softly, very softly. Tommy stared at her grey eyes with crinkles around the edges that gave her a look of wisdom that most girls at age twenty didn’t have. Her light freckles dotted her pale skin, and her light brown, almost red, hair framed her face, casting shadows across her face in the moonlight.
And then her lips were on his. The kiss was soft at first, just the barest touching of lip against lip. Then it got deeper. Mouths opened, tongues met. Tommy found himself kissing her back. It was his first real kiss, and it was fantastic. He wasn’t really sure what he was doing, and it felt slightly awkward, but she seemed to be guiding him. One of her hands moved up to his cheek, and he put his free hand on her waist. The kiss lasted almost a full minute. It at once seemed an eternity and an instant. She slowly broke the kiss and pulled away.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” said Liz, looking over her shoulder and smiling at him as she slipped through the door and into the dark building. Tommy stared at the door, unable to move, the power of the moment still holding him firm. His eyes were unfocused, and he barely noticed as a girl approached.
“You’re in the way,” she said angrily, practically shoving Tommy away from the door as she pushed past to get in.
“Anne?” asked Tommy, broken from his daze and noticing his new friend. But she didn’t answer him, or even glance back. Why had she done that? Tommy was sure that she had noticed who he was, not just some stranger in the dark. If she had truly had a crush on Tommy, why hadn’t she just told him? And why was she acting like this?
October 5 B.G.
“That is the best news ever!” said Natalie, giving Tommy a big hug. “I told you! You’re up at college, what, two weeks, and you already have a girlfriend!”
“Yeah, it is great,” said Tommy.
“So have you hit it yet?” asked Natalie.
“Nat!” said Tommy, scandalized. “Of course not! But we did kiss.”
“A real kiss or a peck?” asked Natalie.
“A real kiss. Twice now,” said Tommy.
“Aww, that is the cutest thing ever,” said Natalie. “You’re blushing!”
“Shut up,” said Tommy good-naturedly.
“So when are you going to see her again?”
“Actually, I have to house sit for my aunt this weekend, and Liz said that she’d come out and spend the night with me,” said Tommy.
“So you are going to hit it!” said Natalie.
“Of course not,” said Tommy indignantly. “We’ll sleep in separate bedrooms. There won’t be anything funny going on.”
“Not funny, passionate,” said Natalie, eyes glazing over slightly, imaging some encounter of her own. “It is great. You have to try it. Besides, she wants to. Why else would she spend the night with you?”
“I don’t know, but I’m taking things nice and slow,” said Tommy.
“No, you’re not,” said Natalie. “You’ve already fallen in love with her!”
“The L word has not been used,” said Tommy.
“Yeah, but you’ve thought about it,” said Natalie with a sigh. “That’s the kind of guy that you are.” Tommy couldn’t tell if she meant that as a good thing or a bad thing.
“I can’t sing!” protested Tommy.
“Come on! Sing!” said Liz. She was laying on top of him, her fuzzy sweater itchy against Tommy’s bare arms. What had started as a movie had turned into an hour long make out session, and then a tickle fight. Exhausted, they had collapsed, Tommy on his back on the narrow leather couch, and Liz on his stomach, facing him. Tommy started to sing a melody. “All right, stop! You really are terrible.”
“I know, but you don’t have to say it,” said Tommy, slightly hurt. “You made me sing.”
“I know,” she said, smiling at him. “That’s ok. Your kissing has gotten much better.”
“Thanks,” said Tommy automatically, then he realized what she had said. “Was I bad before?”
“Not… bad exactly,” said Liz, dancing away from the subject. “But you’re pretty good now.”
‘”Thanks,” said Tommy, kissing her on the nose. “This is nice. Us. Here.”
“Yeah, it is,” said Liz with a smile. “Thanks for inviting me over. Nora wanted the room tonight.”
“Oh?” asked Tommy.
“Yeah. She is dating that Roger now,” said Liz.
“Roger? Levi’s new best friend, Roger?” asked Tommy in surprise.
“Yeah. Didn’t you know?” asked Liz.
“No. I don’t know Roger that well. But Levi talks about him all the time. He thinks that Roger is the coolest.”
“He does seem pretty cool,” said Liz. “And seeing Nora happy is always nice.” Tommy yawned widely. “Tired?”
“A bit,” admitted Tommy.
“Let’s go to bed then,” said Liz.
“Ok, but you’re going to have to get off of me first,” said Tommy.
“Are you sure you don’t mean get you off?” asked Liz.
“You are so dirty minded!” said Tommy with a smile and a blush.
“I don’t want to get off of you,” said Liz.
“If you want to go to bed, you have to,” said Tommy.
“I could just sleep like this,” said Liz.
“Ok,” agreed Tommy quickly. She looked at him a bit longer.
“No, I can’t. I need a pillow,” said Liz. She sat up with a groan, and rolled off of him. “I’m going to go and brush my teeth.”
“Ok,” said Tommy. “Where do you want to sleep?”
“Down here is fine,” said Liz. “No sense dirtying their sheets.”
“Ok,” said Tommy. She headed for the downstairs bathroom, pulling out her toothbrush and toothpaste from her purse. She took them everywhere. Liz had an obsession with making sure that her teeth were freshly brushed at all times. She couldn’t possibly go to sleep without brushing first. She smiled as she brushed, though. Tommy really was a nice guy, and he was sweet to her. And he had gotten much better at kissing. That made up for him not being able to sing. She was happy. And maybe, when they went to bed, she hoped, he’d make her even happier. She changed into her pajama pants and a spaghetti strap top.
When she returned to the living room, Tommy had also changed, and he had unfolded the large couch into a hide-a-bed, and set it up for her with clean sheets and blankets. “That looks comfortable,” she said.
“It is,” said Tommy. “Want me to tuck you in?”
“Ha ha,” she said dryly, climbing into the bed. Tommy leaned down and kissed her briefly, then headed to the small loveseat on the other side of the room. She frowned in disappointment.
“Good night,” said Tommy.
“Good night,” said Liz. She looked at the plastered ceiling, feeling very let down. When he had invited her to spend the night, she had assumed that he was actually going to make a move towards physical intimacy with her, finally. She had hoped that he would. They were adults, after all. Relationships were about more than just kissing. They were also about more than just sex, but it was a vital activity for serious couples, and she could see herself and Tommy becoming serious in the future, maybe, more so than any other guy that she had ever met. She decided that she would have to correct this right now.
“You don’t have to sleep over there, you know,” she said.
“Um, ok,” said Tommy.
“You can sleep in the bed with me,” said Liz, in case he hadn’t gotten the hint, yet again.
“Ok,” said Tommy, sounding nervous. She saw his dark shape cross the room, then felt the flimsy bed sink as he climbed into the side farthest away from her. “I promise that I won’t try anything.”
“I trust you,” said Liz. “It’s all right.”
“Good,” said Tommy, obviously not getting that she meant that she trusted him enough to let him touch her. “Night.”
“Night,” said Liz. She stared at the ceiling some more. She wasn’t going to give up this easily. He was just being ridiculous. She rolled back against him, and to her delight, he turned sideways and put his arm around her, spooning her, hand resting on her stomach. “That’s more like it.”
“Yeah, this does feel good,” said Tommy softly into her ear. Liz felt a chill up her spine. A good one. She stretched, letting her shirt ride up, and leaving his hand on her bare stomach. He didn’t move it as the shirt came back down again. Another good sign. Maybe it was really going to happen.
“Sleepy?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said softly.
“Oh,” she said. Liz decided that she would have to take more drastic measures. She reached down and pushed his hand further up her stomach. He didn’t respond. She pushed his hand up again. She kept edging it up, every minute or so, until his palm rested directly on her bra covered breast. Still, he didn’t respond. “Are you awake?”
“Yeah, I’m awake,” he said, sounding much more alert than earlier. She could sense the nervousness radiating from him. His hand stayed deathly still, not moving in the slightest, despite its prime resting spot. She sighed. Fine. It wasn’t going to happen tonight. But it had better happen soon.
“What’s wrong?” asked Tommy, seeing Liz fidgeting beside him. They were both dressed up a bit nicer than usual, standing outside of a small, off campus apartment. Nora had insisted that the two of them come over to Roger’s for dinner. Roger had been lucky enough to get an apartment near campus, despite being a freshman. Tommy hadn’t wanted to go tonight, as it was the one month anniversary of the night that he and Liz had started dating, but when he raised that point with her, she rolled her eyes, and he could tell that she had been unhappy with him, although he wasn’t sure why. Instead, they were here, but Liz certainly didn’t look pleased about it, and that made him upset, too.
“Nothing,” said Liz with annoyance. She smoothed out her black dress once more just as the door opened.
“Hey, Liz! Tommy! Come in!” said Roger warmly, shaking Tommy’s hand. “What’s up?”
“Not much,” said Liz, brushing past Roger to make a beeline for Nora, who was setting the table.
“What’s with her?” asked Roger.
“I don’t know. I think I did something wrong, but she won’t tell me what,” said Tommy in a hushed tone. “I hope that she isn’t really upset with me. We haven’t been together very long.”
“Don’t worry, man,” said Roger, putting a hand on his shoulder. “If it’s meant to be between you two, it will be. If it isn’t, it isn’t. I learned long ago that sweating over every little thing just makes things worse. Lighten up!”
“Hi, Tommy,” said Nora as the men joined the women in the small dining room. Liz didn’t look at Tommy. Roger gave his shoulder a squeeze, than moved to help Nora. Tommy couldn’t help but like Nora’s new boyfriend.
“Hi, Nora,” said Tommy.
A timer began to beep. “Dinner is ready!” said Roger grandly, heading for the kitchen.
“I’ll help you,” said Liz, following him.
“Do you know what’s wrong with her?” asked Tommy of Nora. “She’s been practically ignoring me for days!”
“You two should talk,” said Nora.
“What does that mean?” asked Tommy.
“You two should talk,” said Nora, giving him a look that he couldn’t decipher. It was part pity and part annoyance.
“Ok,” said Tommy. He headed into the kitchen. Roger had the ham on a plate, fresh from the oven. He headed for the dining room and Liz moved to follow, but Tommy stood in her way, blocking her path.
“It’s dinner time,” said Liz testily.
“Nora said that we should talk,” said Tommy.
“Not now. Later,” said Liz.
“Why won’t you talk to me? You’ve been cold towards me all week,” said Tommy. “Something must be the matter. What did I do? Did I do something wrong?”
“Look, fine,” said Liz. She reached past Tommy and closed the door that led into the dining room. “I don’t think that we should see each other anymore.”
“What?” sputtered Tommy. “But…”
“You’re too clingy, and you’re too… immature,” said Liz. “Let’s go eat.”
“So you’re just ending it?” asked Tommy, tears in his eyes.
“Yes. We haven’t been together very long. It’s no big deal,” said Liz.
“It is to me,” said Tommy. “You were my first girlfriend.”
“I’m sorry,” said Liz, sounding like she might mean it, somewhat. “It’s over, Tommy. Are you coming to eat with us or not? The food is getting cold.”
“Not,” said Tommy. He headed for the back door, out of the kitchen and into the street. Once away from Liz, he couldn’t help sitting down behind a large tree and crying. He knew that he was new at this, but he loved her! She was his first girlfriend, and although it had lasted only a month, it had meant everything to him. Why had she broken his heart? It just wasn’t fair.
To be continued…
posted by Jerome Wetzel | 1:00 AM
