June 2007
Part IV: You Spin Me Round
To Brandon Moss
For helping me get through it all.
Where was he? Liz Payne sat on the hill above the hidden base, staring at the horizon. She had sat in this spot every day since Tommy had left on the crazy mission. Not that anyone around here had noticed her doing it. They just assumed that she was outside slacking off, not helping. They never understood her. They never even tried to. None of them knew how much she ached for Tommy to come home. Why hadn’t they heard anything from the group by now? Liz knew that they hadn’t taken their phones or anything, in case they were captured, but still… They had left months ago. Where was he?
The sun sank below Liz’s field of vision, and she allowed herself to cry. There weren’t many tears. Dozens of nights of similar emotion had sapped that from her. During the first few weeks, she had cried for hours, body wracked with silent sobs, her shirt becoming soaked with the salty liquid. Now only a few drops rolled to her chin and dropped to the grass below. Tommy had better come back soon. He couldn’t do this to her. He just couldn’t leave her. Not when things were actually going ok, and he had responsibilities. And not just to her.
“Liz! Where are you?” asked a female voice from inside the base. “Sarah is cranky! Come and take her!”
“I’ll be there in a minute!” shouted Liz back, surprised that she had kept her voice from cracking.
“Hurry up!” said the voice.
“Fine!” said Liz angrily, getting up. She brushed the dirt off of the back of her tight jeans and stalked towards the cave entrance. She couldn’t be left alone for even a few minutes around here. She paused at the doorway and looked back at the twilight. Her fingers reached up and touched the diamond studs in her ears, a gift from Tommy. She had put them on for the first time in a year to attend the movie premiere prior to the goose attack, and hadn’t taken them out since. Wherever Tommy was, she hoped that he was safe. And she hoped that he was thinking of her.
February 3 B.G. ~ Wester
“Hey, Tommy!” said Vikki Styles as the door opened to Tony Vista and Jason Clucker’s place. Tommy Gaines smiled at Vikki, Meredith Reel, and Tony, who were lined up on the couch with beer and pizza.
“Pull up a seat,” said Meredith.
“Sure,” said Tommy, sitting in the armchair and helping himself to a wine cooler that he had brought with him. He wasn’t a big fan of beer. “Sorry I’m late. We were pretty busy at the pizza shop. Mike got me out as early as he could. Where’s Jason? I thought he was going to hang out with us tonight.” Tom was grateful to his boss, Mike, for working around his college schedule. The uber-friendly guy understood that Tommy was busy with being a student and working full time, and did his best to allow his young manager a social life.
“He’s running around with Liz again,” said Tony, rolling his eyes. “Those two have become inseparable.”
“Liz said that she had way too much studying to do tonight to hang out,” said Tommy, feeling a bit betrayed. She had made a habit lately of telling him that she was busy with homework and then running off with Jason, and he was getting a bit tired of it. Obviously she had time for fun, she just didn’t want to spend that time with him, or at least not much of it.
“Yeah. They’re not studying. They probably looked at their books for five minutes then hit the liquor,” said Meredith.
“That boy, sometimes…,” said Vikki, shaking her head.
“So what’s new with you guys?” asked Tommy.
“Oh, Jason and I need a roommate for next year. Are you interested?” asked Tony.
“Sure!” said Tommy. “I haven’t been hanging out with Jason all that much lately. It’ll be nice to see him more often.”
“Good luck with that,” said Tony. “It’s not like he’s ever here.”
“Speaking of never being here…,” said Vikki. “I had some news, and I was going to tell you guys all at once, but since Jason is never around anymore…”
“She’s moving to
“What?” asked Tony in surprise.
“When?” was Tommy’s stunned reaction.
“Bright and early tomorrow morning,” said Vikki, shooting Meredith a look for spoiling the surprise. “I just got a teaching job. I start Monday.”
“Wow,” said Tony. “That was sudden.”
“Well, they had a teacher leave mid-year, and all I can get around here are substitute positions…,” said Vikki.
“Yeah. Congratulations,” said Tony.
“I’ll miss you,” said Tommy.
“Quit being such a girl,” said Meredith to their younger friend. “We’ll go and visit her.”
“But it’s not the same,” said Tommy.
“Whoa, Tommy,” said Vikki, looking at her friend in concern. “No need to get so upset. I’ll still have a phone.”
“Yeah, but it sucks losing another friend,” said Tommy.
“Still not talking to Anne?” asked Tony.
“Yeah. Liz made me choose,” said Tommy.
“That’s bull brack,” said Meredith. “We’ve told you before, that girl is no good for you.”
“You shouldn’t let her push you around like that,” said Vikki. “She has no right to tell you who you can and can’t be friends with. You can do better.”
“But we’re finally getting along so well…,” said Tommy.
“Sure. That’s why she’s off with Jason, not you, again,” said Tony. “I used to think that she was a cool girl, but she’s not. You should dump her ass.”
“I can’t,” said Tommy. “I love her.”
“Geez, Tommy. For a smart kid, you make some really dumb choices,” said Vikki.
“Let’s change the subject,” said Meredith, coming to Tommy’s rescue. “So about the move…”
March 3 B.G. ~
Tommy woke up in his single occupancy hotel room and looked at his alarm clock. Eight fifteen. Perfect. He was supposed to meet Liz, Jason, and the others at nine o’clock to tour the streets of
He quickly showered and got dressed for the day. His clock only said eight thirty. That was strange. He could have sworn that he had taken longer than fifteen minutes this morning. Weird. He made sure that he had his money and passport, then headed for the hotel lobby to wait for his friends.
As Tommy walked into the ornate lobby of the hotel, he noticed that the sign behind the concierge desk said eleven oh five. With a sinking feeling, Tommy approached the dark skinned guy with the shaved head behind the desk. His named tag said Michel. “Is it really 11:05?” he asked.
“Yes,” said the clerk with a frown. He had a French accent and seemed a bit snotty for Tommy’s taste.
“Crap! My clock in my room said it was only eight thirty!” said Tommy.
“Did you bring it with you from
“Yes,” said Tommy.
“We have different currents of electricity here. Your clock won’t work properly here unless you buy an adapter. You Americans should really look into these things before you travel abroad.”
“Thanks,” said Tommy with a tight smile. He couldn’t believe it! He had overslept, and they had left without him! His own girlfriend had left without him, and on his birthday! Liz had known where his room was. Why hadn’t she come down and knocked on the door? Why didn’t anyone? Nora, Anne, Jason, and Tony were all supposed to meet him. What would he do all day in
“Tommy?” asked Anne Steiman, walking into the bar of the hotel that they were staying at. She had Nora Blacken in tow. Although Nora had moved to
“Are you drunk?” Nora asked, looking at him in concern.
Tommy was slumped over in a booth, several empty glasses on the wooden table in front of him. “No. I’m jush tipsy.”
“Did you sit here and drink all day?” asked Anne worriedly.
“Of coursh not. After you guysh abandoned me, I went to the wax museum, and the parksh, and then got totally lost. It was sosh scary. I didn’t know whish hotel we were in,” said Tommy, slurring badly. “Why didn’t you wake me upsh?”
“Liz said you weren’t coming,” said Nora. “We wouldn’t have left without you if we thought you would be alone.”
“Liz wouldn’t have left you on purpose,” said Anne. “Did you maybe tell her…”
“I told Lizsh I was hanging out with you guysh today,” said Tommy.
“Uh, oh,” said Nora, shooting Anne a look.
“What?” asked Tommy.
“Nothing,” said Nora. “I think we should get you up to bed.”
“Nosh!” said Tommy. “It’s my birthday. Have a drinksh with me!”
“You’ve had enough to drink,” said Anne.
“Anne, you’re so nicesh to me. I’m sorry I haven’t talkshed to you. I shouldsh never let Liz tell me who I can and cannot be friendsh with,” said Tommy.
“You’re drunk,” said Anne, taking a sterner tone. She shared another look with Nora. It was not going to be easy to get Tommy back up to his room, and while she didn’t approve of the drinking, she certainly couldn’t blame him this time. What had Liz been thinking today, leaving her boyfriend all alone in a foreign city on his birthday? This was a disaster.
“There’s Liz,” whispered Nora to Anne. The redhead glanced over her shoulder into the hotel lobby. Jason and Liz had split off earlier to ‘hit just one more bar’, and they were stumbling in now.
“Don’t let Tommy see her. I’ll be right back,” said Anne. Nora nodded. Anne ran out to the lobby and caught Liz and Jason as they waited for the elevator, leaning heavily on each other.
“Hey, Anne!” said Jason happily. “How ya doin’?”
“Not good. Liz, you left your boyfriend all alone on his birthday in
“I don’t want to talk about Tommy right now,” said Liz, clearly not as drunk as Jason or Tommy.
“You don’t have a choice! That poor boy is trashed in the hotel bar, and more depressed than I’ve ever seen him. You need to come and talk to him,” said Anne.
“Not tonight,” said Liz. The elevator dinged and opened up. Jason and Liz stumbled in.
“But you’re his girlfriend! You have to…” Anne’s words were cut off as the doors rolled closed. Liz hadn’t shown a hint of remorse at Tommy’s condition. This whole situation was one ugly mess, and Anne was going to have to clean it up. It wasn’t her place. How dare Liz leave this in her lap? Angrily, Anne stomped back to the bar.
“Time to go upstairs,” she said to Tommy.
“Jush one more drink,” said Tommy, eyes unfocused behind his glasses.
“Now,” said Anne sternly. She reached for one arm, and Nora grabbed Tommy’s other. Together, they managed to get him up the elevator and to his room, somehow, with much effort. Then Anne had to sit guard outside Tommy’s door, because he kept trying to sneak back out. It wasn’t a night she would soon forget, and she couldn’t figure out, after the way Tommy had treated her, why she didn’t just leave him. Any hint of any attraction she may have once held for him, and she wouldn’t admit to any, was long gone. But for some reason, she still wanted to be his friend. And after this, he’d need a friend more than ever.
April 3 B.G. ~ Wester
Tom walked happily with Anne through the lawn between buildings as they left their last class of the day. It was Friday afternoon and they had the whole weekend to party, save for the time Tommy would be spending working at the pizza shop. There was not a care in the world in Tommy’s mind, until he saw her standing in the distance, watching him.
The breakup had been quick, not ugly. Liz had come to Tommy the day after his birthday and told him that she had left him and avoided him because she had wanted to break up, and thought it best not to do it on his birthday. Also, she wouldn’t want to be fake, or so she said, and it made sense if they just didn’t spend that day together. For Tommy, it was the easiest breakup ever. He had been so destroyed that day in
Liz didn’t look good. Well, she did look good in terms of attractiveness, but she didn’t look happy. After word had spread about what had happened, mutual friends shifted Tommy’s way, and not Liz’s. Anne, Tony, Levi… they barely talked to Liz anymore. Walt was civil, but not warm towards her. Only Jason stayed her friend, but Jason tended to bounce around with his friendships. It had been Liz through
“Let’s invite Liz to go to the movie with us tonight,” said Tommy.
“Are you serious?” asked Anne. She glanced at Liz, then back at Tommy. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“She doesn’t get to spend time with her friends any more,” said Tommy.
“That’s because she acted like a total miro,” said Anne.
“There’s no need to be bitter,” said Tommy.
“I don’t want a big group tonight,” said Anne.
“She’s just one more person. That brings the total to what, seven, for tonight?” asked Tommy.
“We shouldn’t have invited everyone,” said Anne.
“Come on,” pleaded Tommy.
“Fine. Invite her if you want. But if you get all depressed after spending the evening hanging out with her, reminding you of what she did, I’m not picking up the pieces this time,” said Anne, sighing in defeat.
“I won’t get depressed. I’m so over her,” said Tommy.
“You do appear to be handling it well,” observed Anne.
“She made it easy,” said Tommy. “Go invite her.”
“Me? You’re the one that wants her to hang out with us,” said Anne.
“Yeah, but it would send the wrong message if I do it,” said Tommy. “Please.”
“Fine,” said Anne unhappily. Tommy watched as she walked over to Liz and said something that he couldn’t hear. He saw Liz ask a question and look at him in concern, probably wondering if it was all right with Tommy if she came. That was nice of her. Anne said something reassuring, then Liz nodded. They kept talking for several minutes. Finally, Liz went inside her dorm and Anne came back to Tommy, who was trying, and failing, to look as if he hadn’t been watching the whole interchange.
“Well?” asked Tommy expectantly.
“Not only is she coming out with us tonight, but apparently I will be living with her next year,” said Anne.
“No!” said Tommy in surprise.
“Yeah. She apologized for the whole jealousy thing, and then she said that we should be friends again. I guess with Nora back in
“That’s great,” said Tommy.
“Yeah. We’ll see how long it stays great,” said Anne.
“Oh, don’t be so negative,” said Tommy.
“What’s up with you?” asked Anne, looking at him as if he’d grown a third ear.
“I’m just happy,” said Tommy.
“Well, don’t get too happy. I’m glad you’re being mature and all with the Liz thing, but I don’t want to be sitting next to you two when you make out at the movie,” said Anne.
“Anne! Come on! It’s over between us. Even if she wanted me back, I don’t think I would date her again. Not after last time,” said Tommy. “I can’t go through it all anymore.”
“Good,” said Anne. “But I’ll believe that when I see it.”
“Give me a little credit,” said Tommy.
“No,” said Anne. “Now buy me dinner! You still owe me for forgiving you. Most girls wouldn’t, you know. After cutting me off as a friend just for some girl.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” said Tommy.
“You’ve said you’re sorry enough. Food will make it better now,” said Anne with a smile.
“Then lead on!” said Tommy.
“That was fun,” said Anne as Tommy walked the girls back to their dorm. He wasn’t going out of his way, it was just between the car and his own place. “See you tomorrow?”
“You bet,” said Tommy. Liz hung outside for a minute as Anne went in. She looked at Tommy with her big, sad eyes, and Tommy’s heart melted there on the spot.
“Can we take a walk?” asked Liz.
“Sure,” said Tommy automatically. Brack. What was he doing? He knew better than this. He was not going to cave to her. If she was even trying to ask him back out. Maybe she wasn’t. Maybe she just wanted to go for a walk and clear the air. Maybe Tommy was over thinking this. Ok, that was a given. They began to walk aimlessly through campus.
It was a nice night, clear sky, just a slight chill. They didn’t see any other students as they walked in silence, but it was a quiet, peaceful village, and the effect was calming, not scary. There was a palpable tension of things left unsaid between them, but Tommy was content not to bring any of it up if she didn’t.
“I am so sorry,” said Liz.
“Ok,” said Tommy, not sure what else to say.
“There is no excuse for the way that I treated you in
“It’s ok. It’s fine. I’m fine. Don’t beat yourself up over it,” said Tommy.
“Stop being nice to me. I don’t deserve it,” said Liz. Tommy’s heart broke. He had been seeing her as a heartless bitch because that’s what he needed to see to get over her quickly, but as she expressed these heartfelt emotions, he felt his own rise to the surface. How could he possibly be mad at her? She had made a mistake. Everyone did from time to time. There was no reason in the world not to forgive her. And he wasn’t over her. Not even close.
“You do, Liz. It’s fine, honestly,” said Tommy, stopping to look at her. She had tears in her deep eyes, and once again he was transfixed in their gaze. Her eyes always got to him, and he had never seen real tears and feeling in them like he was seeing now. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and hold her until she felt better, but he couldn’t. That wasn’t their relationship anymore. They were just friends.
“No, it’s not. And if I could do it over again, I would,” she said. “You never deserved to be treated like that.”
“Thanks for saying that. It means a lot,” said Tommy. “But I do forgive you. It’s over. We can move on from that.”
“Can we?” asked Liz, looking at him.
“Can we what?” asked Tommy.
“Move on?” asked Liz.
“Sure,” said Tommy. “We share all the same friends. We can still hang out and be ok. It’ll be fine.”
“I know I have no right to ask you this, but do you think that you could ever forgive me enough to give me another chance?” Liz asked, lip trembling. It physically hurt Tommy to see her this worked up.
“You mean… go back out?” asked Tommy.
“Yeah. I mean, I understand if you don’t want to. I certainly don’t deserve it. But maybe someday, down the road…”
“I would go back out with you in a second,” said Tommy, immediately knowing that every one of his friends who had supported him and sided with him through this whole thing would see those words as a betrayal. Levi, Walt, especially Anne… they would all be extremely ticked at him if he took her back. But he didn’t care. He loved Liz, and if there was any chance of being with her, then screw what anyone else thought.
“Seriously?” asked Liz.
“Yes,” said Tommy. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” said Liz. Then he kissed her. He couldn’t help himself. Tommy leaned forward, took her in his arms, and they locked lips. They tongues danced in a way that they never had before. Somehow, everything that had happened had forged a new bond, a stronger bond. Tommy knew that this time, they wouldn’t break up. This time it was for real. He had found his true love, the one woman in the world that he wanted to be with. It was Liz.
May 3 B.G.
“Happy birthday,” said Tommy, handing Liz a gift wrapped box as they sat across from each other at a nice Italian restaurant. Their past month together had been magical, everything they hadn’t been before. They talked about their feelings, they hung out, they held hands in public. And yet, Liz sensed something had changed in Tommy. Every moment that she spent with him, he was a perfect gentlemen to her, but she could sense something else in his gaze. A lingering hurt. A whiff of doubt that she was really with him. Brack it, she was with him, one hundred percent, and he needed to get used to it.
“Thank you,” said Liz, taking the box. Liz had heard through Nora, accidentally, that Tommy had asked her when she could come up from
Liz opened the box eagerly. If there were doubts, she wasn’t going to be the one to bring them up. She had never been the type of girl to talk about her feelings. And she wasn’t the type of girl to gingerly unwrap a box. Now she dug into the paper and came across a small jewelry box. Shit. It had better not be an engagement ring. There was no way that she was ready for marriage with Tommy, especially with the vibes that she was getting from him. It was about the right size for a ring. But why wrap it? That would be tacky. She opened it and looked at the contents in surprise. Two beautiful diamond platinum earrings.
“Thank you!” she said, quickly putting them in. Liz had her ears pierced, but often went without earrings. These two little studs fit perfectly, and felt good, too. What a great present. She could forgive him for abandoning the party now. If only he’d talk to her about whatever was going on in his mind.
“You’re welcome,” said Tommy. “I was going to do a party, but, well, there wasn’t really time to get it together properly after… So I hope this dinner is all right.”
“Sure. This is nice,” said Liz automatically. What was wrong with him? Why would he bring up the party at all? He hadn’t known that she knew about it. Why tease her with the thought of a big bash in her honor when he wasn’t going to deliver it? This was the kind of thing that had been driving her crazy since they got back together. Although he had told her that he was over it all, and that he had forgiven her, he routinely dropped little nuggets like that comment to make her feel bad all over again. If he truly loved her, why would he do that? It was just mean, and she was getting tired of it. It wasn’t fair, and she didn’t think that she deserved it. If he was still mad, he should have never taken her back. Still, this was a nice dinner, and she was determined to have fun, even if she had to make the fun herself. He wouldn’t bring her down.
“So what are your plans for the summer?” Liz asked him.
“I’m moving in with Jason and Tony as soon as school gets out,” said Tommy. “It’s going to be fun, having you around this summer. We’ll see each other a lot more often than we did last summer, when you were back at the lake.”
“Actually, I am going back to the lake this summer,” said Liz.
“I thought you and Anne were getting an apartment together,” said Tommy.
“I told Anne to talk to me about it in August. I never planned on staying here through the summer,” said Liz.
“Oh,” said Tommy. “Well, that’s taz, then. I’ll drive up and see you as often as I can.”
“I’m going to be pretty busy this summer,” said Liz. “I need to work a lot of hours to pay off my tuition for next year.”
“Oh,” said Tommy.
“Yeah,” said Liz. Why was he acting so wounded? Didn’t he realize that she had to work? Her job was up there, not down here. Tommy worked all of the time, and she had to see him around that schedule. She was only working during the summer. And just because she would have to work a lot, that didn’t mean that she didn’t want to see him at all. It wasn’t fair for him to act like she was doing something wrong here. She wasn’t. Of course she wanted to see him. She just knew that work had to be her top priority. Just for a few short months. She was determined to graduate, and she needed to pay for her classes.
“So what will you be doing after graduation next year?” Tommy asked her.
Liz smiled. She had been wanting to share this with him. She had just decided, and she was getting excited about her idea. “I think I might go teach in
“Sounds… interesting,” said Tommy. Liz frowned. What was the matter with him? He should be more excited for her. She thought that it was the opportunity of a lifetime, and all that he could say was that it sounded interesting? Where was his sense of adventure? Where was his spirit? Why wasn’t he happy for her? Was he only thinking of himself, and upset that she would be leaving? She didn’t want to be with a man who was going to drag her down, or who didn’t love her enough to encourage her to do something so good for the world.
“You could come, too, you know,” she said, hoping that would alleviate his worry of her leaving.
“Really?” asked Tommy in surprise.
“Yeah, of course. I would definitely like to keep you around,” said Liz, touching his arm. “You could join me after you graduate the following year.”
“I’ll have to think about it,” said Tommy, clearly taken aback. Well, it was a large thing to drop on a person. She’d give him that. And he hadn’t said no. Maybe he was all right after all. She could usually tell when he was being dismissive, but she could see that he was actually processing the idea. Not that she could see Tommy being happy in a dirt hut, as she wanted to go to the really poor villages. She wasn’t sure she was actually going to do it, but if he’d be willing to follow her, then that would prove to her that it was true love, and he had forgiven her. Maybe he’d even start to get excited about the idea, too. Who wouldn’t? It sounded so amazing. She’d let him think about it before pushing him. It was a big decision.
“Thanks again for dinner. And the earrings. I love them,” said Liz.
“No problem,” said Tommy. “Of course, that isn’t all of your birthday present.”
“Really?” she asked. “There’s more?” She hoped not. The party would be one thing, but she didn’t want him to give her more extravagant gifts than the jewelry. It was more than enough.
Then Tommy got a sly look in his eyes, and she suddenly knew what he meant. And that present was something that she could look forward to. “Yep. I’ll give you the last bit later tonight,” said Tommy.
“I can’t wait,” said Liz sincerely.
June 3 B.G.
Liz happily walked with Tommy towards her car. Ok, so she wasn’t so happy. But she was smiling outwardly, trying to appear happy. He, on the other hand, was genuinely happy, unless he was one of the greatest actors of this generation. Liz didn’t think that he was. She had seen videos of him acting in high school productions. His friend Walt was pretty good, but Tommy was just all right. If he was acting now, she would have seen right through him. Still, she wasn’t completely sad. She had some reason to be happy. She was returning home for the summer, back to her parents’ house, nearly two hours away. She missed home, and it would be good to get back. And she’d be back here by the fall, which wasn’t that long of a time from now.
Tommy helped her with her bags, smiling at her. Gods, he looked good to her today. His short brown hair had a fingers-running-through-it quality that she often took advantage of. He had always had a little belly, but had slimmed down a bit lately. He was dressed in khaki shorts and a great t-shirt. She knew that she loved him, but she’d had a lot of time to think about the decision that she had made, the one she was about to let him in on, and she knew that it was for the best. He didn’t talk about his feelings all that much, but she knew that he loved her. He loved her so much that he had even told her that her new neon orange streaks in her hair looked adorable. That was love. She thought that in the long term, she’d be very happy with him. The doubt and tension that had been there a month ago were gone now. They had truly been happy this past month. And that was why she had to make this decision now, before it was too late and she never did.
Liz turned to hug him warmly and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. She took his hand as they dropped off the last of her bags and began to lead him towards the nearby park. One last walk around before she left. They took walks often. Well, Tommy took walks often. She sometimes joined him. It was a warm June evening. The campus of
Liz stopped and looked at Tommy. “I think I want to break up.”
“What?” he asked in surprise. He looked dizzy and had to lean on a tree to stop himself from falling down. Her heart broke, having to say those words to him. “Why?”
“I just don’t think I should be with anyone right now,” she said, trying to sound flippant. She knew from past experience that when she acted like a jerk during the breakup, he’d take it better. She wanted him to take this well. She loved him, and knew that she could spend her life with him, but the timing was off. She wanted to travel the world, teach in
“With anyone?” he stammered, confused.
“Yes,” she said. “I think I need to concentrate on finding myself. I can’t do that when I’m with you.” The statement was a total lie. It hurt her to say it. She hoped that it sounded convincing.
“Ok…,” said Tommy. She could tell that he hadn’t expected this. She wished that she could tell him everything that was going through her head, but he’d never be convinced that this was best course of action. He would argue that he wanted to follow her, to be with her. She wasn’t about to stand in the way of his picket fence and two point two kids. Tommy had always been a very supportive boyfriend, even putting up with Liz’s constant changes of mind. It was time to pay him back by letting him go. It was the right thing to do, and while he’d never know it, it hurt her just as much to say these things as it hurt him to hear them.
“It’s not that I don’t love you,” said Liz, letting some of her true feelings slip through. “If I was going to be with anyone, it would be you.” Brack. Why had she said that? She was only going to make things worse!
“Look, Liz. I love you. Whatever you need to do is fine. I’ll support you in whatever you decide to do, and I’ll always be here for you,” said Tommy. The poor guy. He could barely get those words out. She needed to finish this conversation. It was time to get out of here, to make a clean break.
“You don’t have to,” she said.
“To what?” he asked.
“Wait for me,” said Liz. She hoped that he wouldn’t. Sure, she’d come back eventually. But it would be easier on them both if she didn’t. She hoped that he’d move on quickly, so the temptation wouldn’t be there. She didn’t want her weakness to hurt him any more than she already had.
“It’s all right. I don’t mind. I won’t want to date for awhile anyway. If you rethink your decision again, I’m still here,” said Tommy. That was when Liz’s heart finally broke in half. It hurt more than she had dared to imagine that it would.
“I know,” she said, keeping her voice as steady as possible. “You’re so sweet. But I think this time it’s for real. I think I change my mind too much. I’m not good in a relationship.”
“That’s one of the things that I love about you,” he said, and she could tell that he was sincere. He had always put up with her flights of fancy and her impulsive ways with good humor, somehow even finding it attractive. Damn it.
“Don’t get me wrong,” she said, eyes closed, unable to meet his gaze. “I’m just a single type of girl.”
“Ok,” said Tommy, clearly not believing it.
“Good bye,” said Liz. She kissed him on the cheek and left him standing on the sidewalk. If she had stayed any longer, he would have seen her cry, and she didn’t want that. Nor could she bring herself to glance back at him, as much as she wanted to. It was the hardest thing she had ever had to do, but it was for him.
July 3 B.G.
“Whoa. You won this?” asked Walt Edmund, looking past Levi at the big, empty house on the tree lined street in the peaceful neighborhood, just a few blocks from their college.
“Yep. Fair and square,” said Levi Fernal.
“I’ve never known anyone that won a house in a radio contest before,” said Tony. “I mean, you hear of those types of contests, but you always think that they’re rigged, and no one actually wins.”
“Well, I actually won,” said Levi. “It’s mine.”
“You don’t sound all that excited,” said Sam Berkley, looking at Levi in concern.
“I just wish that I had someone to share it with,” said Levi sadly. “I figured that once I got to college I’d find a girl. I’m going to be a junior, and I still haven’t even been in a mature relationship.”
“Well, you’ll find her,” said Sam.
“But in the meantime, you could always share the house with me,” said Walt.
“That’s not a bad idea,” said Levi.
“Really?” asked Walt in surprise. “I was just kidding.”
“No, seriously. It’s got plenty of room. Move in,” said Levi. “Tony, Sam, you can move in, too, if you want.”
“I wish you had won earlier. I just signed a lease with Natalie a couple of months ago,” said Sam.
“And you love living with me,” said Natalie Mounds, coming up behind her with Tommy.
“I definitely do,” said Sam. “Still, rent free living…”
“Maybe when our lease is up,” said Natalie.
“Where’d your glasses go?” Tony asked Tommy.
“I got contacts,” said Tommy.
“Nice face fuzz,” said Sam, rubbing his chin.
“Thanks,” said Tommy. “I decided that it was time for a change.”
“How about you, Tommy?” asked Levi. “Ready to move off of campus?”
“Sorry. I’m in with Jason and Tony for the year,” said Tommy.
“And we’re going to have a great year,” said Tony, smiling at his roommate. “I’m a senior! Almost done!”
“You haven’t been happy since you moved in,” said Walt to Tommy.
“I don’t think that’s because of Tony and Jason,” said Sam.
“Jason is acting like a big jerk and being mean to Tommy,” said Natalie, looking like she would strangle Jason with her bare hands if he were here right now.
“He’s not being mean, exactly. He just doesn’t like to be around people that aren’t happy,” said Tony.
“Tommy has been a real sourpuss lately. You need to cheer up. Right now. I demand it,” said Walt.
“Thanks, Walt,” said Tommy. “If only it were that easy.”
“Hey, has anyone heard from Anne?” asked Levi, trying to change the subject.
“No. Not one word all summer,” said Tony.
“I haven’t heard from her, either,” said Tommy.
“That’s so weird,” said Levi. “We were all so close, but she was getting a bit withdrawn towards the end of the year. I hope that she’s ok.”
“She’ll be fine,” said Walt. “She’ll be back soon.”
“She can be a bit moody,” said Sam. “She should cheer up.”
“Everyone should cheer up!” said Natalie. “This conversation is depressing me.”
“I miss Liz,” said Tommy.
“If you dare take her back one more time…,” said Natalie in a threatening tone. “I don’t care what she says. She keeps hurting you. You are not dating her ever again. I’ll kill you myself. It’ll spare you the pain.”
“She is a big miro,” said Sam. “You don’t need her.”
“Yeah, you can do way better than her,” said Tony.
“Let’s not talk bad about her when she’s not here,” said Walt.
“She treated your best friend like shit,” said Natalie.
“Still, I don’t like talking about people behind their backs,” said Walt.
“Who wants to see the inside?” asked Levi, changing the subject again.
“Oooh, ooh, me!” said Walt. “I get to pick my bedroom first!” He ran for the door.
“Hey, dummy. I have the keys!” said Levi, holding up a chain. “And I get to pick the bedroom first.”
“Why do you get to pick first?” asked Walt.
“Because it’s my house,” said Levi.
“So?” asked Walt. “Hey, does this house have a pool? We should get a pool.”
“There’s no pool,” said Levi.
“We have to get a pool!” said Walt.
“The summer is almost over!” said Levi.
“You can’t have a house without a pool!” said Walt insistently.
“At least some things never change,” said Tommy, smiling at Walt. It was the first time that he had smiled in a month.
Two hours away, Liz was also with friends, and though none of them had seen her in a month so they wouldn’t know, she was also cracking her first smile since the break up. That was good, because if she hadn’t, Jason Clucker would have probably gone home. As it was, Jason was the one causing the smile, so it all worked out. That was why she had invited Jason up here, to cheer her up. “Cannonball!” he shouted as he jumped into the pool.
“Hey!” shrieked Nora, laughing as she got drenched by the large man. “Leave some water in the pool for the rest of us.”
“Are you calling me fat?” asked Jason, wiping water from his face.
“You’re not fat. You’re cuddly,” said Liz.
“Am I cuddly, Roger?” asked Jason, looking at Nora’s husband for confirmation.
“Very cuddly,” said Roger Blacken. “I call the spot on the couch next to Jason tonight!”
“Yay! We’re going to get our cuddle on,” said Jason, giving Roger his sexy, pouty look.
“Don’t even think about trying to turn my husband gay,” said Nora.
“Hey, babe. If you can’t keep him happy, I will,” said Jason.
“I keep him plenty happy,” said Nora.
“She definitely does,” said Roger with a smile.
“Hey, no sex talk in the pool!” protested Liz.
“Honey, I only talk sex talk,” said Jason. “Get used to it, mmm-kay!”
“Ok, only Jason can talk sex talk, because we know he isn’t getting any anyway,” said Liz.
“Ohhhh, no you didn’t,” said Jason, snapping his fingers three times.
“Jason, I love you, but you’re white,” said Nora.
“I think I need another margarita,” said Roger, draining the last of the cup that was sitting on the deck beside the pool. He smacked his lips and grimaced. “I love chlorine flavored margaritas.”
“Nora, make us some margaritas!” ordered Jason.
“Why should I do it?” asked Nora.
“Cause I said so,” said Jason. “Do it now, or I’ll make your husband brack me in the ass.”
“Fine, fine. Roger, keep your suit on,” said Nora.
“I’ll come and help you,” said Roger, following his wife out of the pool.
“That’s right!” said Jason. “He doesn’t trust himself out here with a sexy beast like me.” He climbed out of the pool and charged past the couple for the house. No one stood between Jason and his alcohol.
“Are you coming in, too?” asked Nora, looking back at Liz.
“In a minute,” said Liz. “I’m going to let the sun dry me for a minute first.” She laid out on a reclining deck chair.
“Ok. I’ll let you know when they’re done,” said Nora, disappearing into the house.
Liz watched them go, and her smile slipped. It was sure nice to have fun again, but she couldn’t keep up the happy charade full time. It was killing her. She looked south, towards
But if Liz had known that summer that in just a few months, Tommy would disappear from her life without a trace, she probably would have called him.
October 1 A.G. ~ Global Goose Command
Tommy shot another goose through the chest, sending the creature flying back several feet into the wall. It was time to get out of here. He needed to find Walt and get to safety. He hoped the tall guy was still in the relatively safe place that he had left him in. Tommy began to make his way towards his friend, shooting any goose that stood between him and Walt.
A blur of movement high in the air caught Tommy’s eyes. He turned, expecting to see yet another goose sentry rising into the air to shout out his location to the others. Instead, he saw Walt above the cubicles, looking around, searching for something. Walt’s eyes lit up when he saw Tommy, only twenty feet away. Tommy smiled. His best friend was all right. They were both going to make it. Maybe they won’t die in this goose stronghold after all.
And then pain hit Tommy in the chest and arm, intense and sudden. He gasped, stumbled, fell. Tommy saw two geese coming towards him with guns drawn. He had been shot! He brought his hand up to his face and saw blood. This was it. This was what death felt like. He expected his life to flash before his eyes, like they always said it would, but it didn’t. Instead, one face filled his entire vision, even as his eyes closed and he collapsed onto the tile floor. The one face, the one that mattered to him more than anything, the one he loved with all of his heart, was Liz. She would never even know how he died. Then darkness reigned supreme, and even Liz faded away.
THE END
A special epilogue “Missing Him”, will be in Actor’s Nightmare Extra (ANEX) a collection of short stories due out in 2008!
posted by Jerome Wetzel | 4:00 AM
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