January 2007

An Actor's Nightmare Presents

#2 A Bird in the Hand

By Jerome Wetzel

To My Father
Subtly Encouraging In Many Ways

May 1 B.G. ~ Dr. Smith’s Base

“Asia has fallen to the geese.” The words recently relayed to him by Morgan rang in Wesley’s ears as he trudged back to his quarters in Dr. Smith’s base. Everything was happening so fast. First, finding out about the secret group, then the attack, and the war, and then losing his best friend.
Wesley’s mind jumped, as it often did these days, to Auby. The goose that Wesley had raised, of Asian descent himself, had set off nearly half a year ago to find out about his species. Not that Wesley blamed him. Auby had not even known that other intelligent members of his species had existed a year prior to his journey. It was only natural to want to discover as much about one’s self as one could. But Wesley missed the little bugger.
Raising him hadn’t been easy. In fact, at first Wesley had been more terrified than anything at discovering a talking goose. As the fear wore off and they became friends, it still wasn’t easy to raise someone who was not only an outsider, but whose very life had to be concealed from the world at large.
Sinking into a soft chair in his room in the underground base, Wesley allowed his mind to drift to those long ago days, and how the being that he cared about most had first infiltrated his life.

September 8 B.G. ~ Wester Jeffersonville, Ohio

Wesley Prisoff sat in his living room, staring at the dark screen on his television, sinking softly into his favorite leather recliner. His eyes were half closed, his gaze unfocused. Classes would resume tomorrow, but Wesley was still suffering the jet lag from his summer vacation in the mountains of Tibet. If you could call it a vacation. It had been pretty hard work. The hardest work that Wesley had ever done.
The phone began to ring. Although the handset was less than two feet from Wesley’s hand, he loathed to reach out and answer it. Even that much effort would be a strain today. He needed rest, and lots of it. After five rings, the house became silent once again.
Sleep began to overtake Wesley, who briefly considered getting up, changing into shorts and a t-shirt, and climbing into his much more comfortable bed. He dismissed the idea. Staying right in this spot was good enough. He was almost asleep anyway. Then the phone began to ring again.
With an exaggerated sigh, Wesley shifted to his left side so that he could pick up the receiver. He clicked it on and held it to his ear, but didn’t speak. He already knew who it was. Only one man would torment him so.
“Wesley? Are you there?” asked a gruff voice.
“Yes, Dakota. I’m here,” said Wesley, letting the exhaustion that he felt seep into his voice, not that his professor would take the hint.
“Where are you? We have a class to prepare for tomorrow.”
“The plane only landed a few hours ago. I thought that I’d get some sleep,” said Wesley.
“No time for that,” said Dakota. “I need you down here right away.”
“Fine,” said Wesley, hanging up with annoyance. Why had he agreed to be Dakota Smith’s teaching assistant this year? Hadn’t he suffered enough in Dakota’s employment all summer, digging in the dirt? What had possessed him to agree to go back to the college that he had only recently graduated from? Wesley had to admit experiencing an intellectual thrill when he had discovered that body and the strange stone, but that excitement had been replaced by sleepiness, and he was not eager to take up the task that he had pledged to do.
With much effort, Wesley pushed himself to his feet. He headed for the door, not bothering to change first. If Dakota was going to make him to come into work tonight of all nights, the professor would have to put up with his assistant’s smelly, worn garments.
As Wesley picked up his book bag, he suddenly remembered the strange egg that he had found. He opened the sack, not wanting to risk damaging the fragile shell by leaving it in there any longer. Wesley carefully removed the bundle of fabric that he had made, peeling away the layers to reveal the ovoid object. He studied the muted colors and seemingly hard shell closely. It look no worse for the wear of the long journey home from Tibet. Wesley was glad that he had remembered not to put the pack in the cargo area of the plane. That could have been diastorous.
Crossing to his office, a room set up just for his research needs in the small, first floor apartment, Wesley placed the egg and jacket carefully in an empty terrarium. He switched on a heat lamp above it. Satisfied, Wesley turned and left the room. Inside the egg, something stirred.

Wesley entered his two bedroom apartment and fell back against the closed front door. Now he really needed to sleep. Dakota had kept him up far too late the night before, and today had seemed to drag on. Thankfully, it was two o’clock, and Wesley was done with any more responsibilities for the next sixteen hours. His bed practically beckoned.
The young man stiffened. He had heard a noise, but it wasn’t the bed. Looking around the room, he spotted an umbrella in its rack by the door. Clutching the handle as if his life depended on it, Wesley cautiously crept further into the apartment.
More cracking noises reached his ears, seemingly coming from the office. Wesley brandished his makeshift weapon, terrified. He stopped just outside of the room and tried to speak. Only a tiny squeak emerged from his dry mouth. He swallowed, hoping that the intruder hadn’t heard it. Opening his mouth again, Wesley did his best to make his voice sound low and menacing. “Who’s in there? I’m armed!”
No answer was forthcoming from the adjoining room. Swallowing again, Wesley decided that he would have to go on. The strange sounds continued from within. Tiptoeing through the door, the source of the noise was immediately apparent. In the terrarium across the office, a fuzzy body was emerging from what was left of the egg. Wesley dropped the umbrella, fear melting away to curiosity, and rushed to help the baby finish hatching.
A young male goose looked up at him from the shell pieces. Wesley gingerly plucked the bird out of the tank and held him in his hand. It was a cute little baby, beak opening and closing noiselessly, eyes beginning to open just a little bit at a time. The miracle of the new life took Wesley’s breath away. The human just stood and stared.
After a few minutes, small, unhappy noises broke out of the tiny bird. Wesley look at the infant, startled. “Of course! You must be very hungry.” Carefully Wesley held the goose to his chest in one hand, while picking out all of the off-white pieces of garbage from the container and setting them on his desk. When he was sure that the tank was clear, Wesley set the bird back in the bundle of fabric.
Wesley looked around. What could he feed the new baby? Worms, he guessed. Why not? Wesley wasn’t exactly an earthy person, but he enjoyed a little gardening now and then. Getting his trowel, Wesley headed for the barren patch of dirt in his tiny back yard. The garden had not been planted this year, as he had been gone all summer. Wesley dropped to his knees and attacked the soil enthusiastically.
While the ground was dry now, it had rained only a few days ago. It didn’t take Wesley to reach the moist soil below and dig up four or five worms. He wondered how many his new baby would need. He figured that four or five would be a start, at least. Brushing the dirt off of his pants, Wesley headed for the house.
The goose began making loud squawks as soon as Wesley came into sight. The research assistant smiled. The bird thought that Wesley was a parent. Wesley moved to the tank, holding a worm above the baby. The goose opened his mouth obediently, eagerly taking the food. Wesley briefly wondered if he should have done something to the worms first, as bird parents usually regurgitated half digested food for their offspring, but the goose didn’t seem to care. He ate four of the five worms, then closed his beak, clearly done with the meal. Wesley dropped the last one in the terrarium for later, then went and washed his hands.
“You were a hungry little fellow, weren’t you?” asked Wesley, returning to his office. He made a mental note to do some research on how to take of a goose later. For now, he was content to hold the baby once more, admiring its tiny body, and contently observing every movement that it made.
The goose raised his head, and his eyes locked with Wesley’s. Their gazes held for almost twenty long seconds. A shiver went up Wesley’s spine. Within the small, beady eyes, Wesley saw intelligence.

October 8 B.G.

Wesley watched the young bird frolic around his apartment. The goose seemed to be filled with boundless energy, like any young animal. The bird was growing at an exponential rate. In only a few weeks, he was double the size that he had been when he had hatched. Plus, that creepy feeling that Wesley had that the goose was intelligent, and actually knew what was going on, had persisted.
With an exasperated sigh, Wesley rose from his chair and picked up the jacket that he had tossed on the back. He crossed to the front closet and put the coat on a hanger. Wesley turned around and started. The goose had stopped flapping his wings aimlessly and was watching him with interest.
“I’m just hanging up my jacket,” said Wesley anxiously. The goose merely stared at him, head cocked to one side.
Wesley gave the bird a wide berth as he crossed to the bedroom. The goose turned his head and followed the TA with his eyes. At first, Wesley had put the young fowl back in the tank every night, but the goose had rarely stayed put, and besides, he didn’t crap all over the furniture or anything. Lately, Wes had just given him free roam of the apartment. It was the easiest available option.
Unbuttoning his shirt and loosening his tie, Wesley was again startled as he turned around. The bird was only a few feet from him, just inside the bedroom doorway. It hadn’t made a sound as it approached. “You have to stop doing that!” said Wesley angrily.
“What?” asked the goose.
“Sneaking up on me!” said Wesley. “It isn’t nice! You could give a guy a heart attack!”
“So-rry,” said the goose, sounding like a small human child.
“That’s ok. Just don’t…,” began Wesley. He trailed off. His fingers fumbled with his final shirt button as what had just occurred registered in his brain. He turned back to the bird. He could have sworn that a smirk was tugging at the goose’s beak. “Am I going crazy, or did you just talk?”
“Yes,” said the goose simply.
“You can talk?” repeated Wesley.
“Widdle,” said the goose.
“A little?” asked Wesley. The goose nodded. The human sank slowly into a sitting position toward his bed, but missed it and ended up on the floor. Wesley’s mind was racing with equal parts shock and awe. “You understand me?”
“Yes,” said the goose, and now Wesley could see that the mischievous creature was smiling at him.
“You little brack. Why didn’t you tell me?” asked Wesley.
“Just found out,” said the goose.
“Wow,” said Wesley.
“You talk,” said the goose.
“Of course I do,” said Wesley. The goose looked at him as if to say, ‘then why are you so surprised?’, but apparently he didn’t have the vocabulary yet to voice the question out loud. Wesley answered it anyway. “But you’re… so… young.” He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t bring himself to say ‘…a bird’, as if afraid of hurting the goose’s feelings.
“Yep. Night,” said the goose, strolling back into the living room to curl up on the patched leather recliner.
“Good night,” said Wesley hollowly. But he didn’t finish undressing, or even lying down. He couldn’t. He just stared at the goose in the chair, who was soon snoring softly.

“Wes? Wesley?”
“What?” asked Wesley, shaking his head.
“You were zoned out. Did you hear a word that I just said?” asked Dakota, looking at his assistant with only a tinge of concern, and a much bigger portion of annoyance.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t get much sleep last night,” said Wesley.
“Well, you have a job to do. You know better than to stay up so late on a work night,” said Dakota.
“I’m sorry,” said Wesley. He opened his mouth to say more, then shut it. Up until that moment he had just assumed that he would tell Dakota everything about the strange bird currently presiding in his apartment. After all, it was definitely very odd, and odd was one of Dakota’s specialties. But now that the moment of confession had arrived, Wesley found himself suddenly reticent to share his secret with anyone else. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Dakota. He just wanted the bird to be his and his alone.
What would happen if he did tell Dakota? The professor would probably insist on studying the goose, or sending him away to someone who had an expertise with birds. Admittedly, the strange goose made Wesley nervous, but the TA felt a certain amount of protectiveness towards the bird, since he had brought it here and hatched it.
On the other hand, if Wesley decided to keep him, and at this point, that looked likely, he had no idea what to do with the poor fellow. Was staying shut in a small apartment all day really a proper life for an intelligent bird? Wesley could use some help, someone to confide in, to share this strange experience with. Wesley needed a friend.
Could the goose be his friend? After all, it was intelligent. It could think, feel, talk, in a limited capacity. Maybe he could share the secret with the being that the secret was about, and that would be enough.
“For brack’s sake, Wesley!” said Dakota.
“I’m sorry,” mumbled Wesley, suddenly realizing that Dakota had just repeated his whole spiel, only to have Wesley once again ignore it completely.
“What is the matter with you?” asked Dakota.
“You know that egg I brought back from Tibet?” asked Wesley.
“Yeah. What about it?” asked Dakota.
“It hatched. A few weeks ago, actually,” said Wesley.
“What was it?” asked Dakota.
The moment of decision was at hand. What should Wesley do? He swallowed hard. “Just a bird. I think that I’ll keep him.”
“Congratulations on the new pet,” said Dakota, not sounding very sincere. “Now can we get on with things that matter?”
“Yeah,” said Wesley with a smile. “We sure can.”

December 8 B.G.

“Hi, Wes!” said the goose cheerily as Wesley entered the apartment. The bird had begun speaking in sentences nearly a month ago, at only seven weeks old, and his vocabulary had progressed steadily since then. The goose could already read on a sixth grade level, although his maturity was more of a Kindergarten variety. The whole thing disturbed Wesley more than he cared to admit.
“Hi,” said Wesley awkwardly, setting down his knapsack at the door. The goose threw his wings around the man’s leg in a hug.
“I think I need a name,” said the goose.
“A name?” asked Wesley. True, he had started thinking of names when the bird had hatched, but that was quickly forgotten when it began to speak. “Can’t you name yourself?”
“That’s just silly!” said the goose. “A parent should name his child.”
“I’m not your parent. I just found your egg,” said Wesley.
“Ok,” said the bird, taking only a few seconds to digest this new information, the way that he seemed to do every new fact that he came across. “That explains why we look nothing alike. But you’re taking care of me, so you should name me.”
“I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that,” said Wesley.
“Am I a freak?” asked the goose.
“A… freak?” asked Wesley.
“Yeah. You always treat me so strangely, and you don’t let me go outside of the house,” said the goose sadly. “I must be a freak.”
“You’re not a freak,” said Wesley gently, heart breaking at the emotion displayed from this creature, whatever he was.
“But I’m not normal,” said the goose.
“No, you aren’t,” said Wesley, thinking carefully about what to tell the bird. As an intelligent being, even one with feathers, he deserved some respect and honesty. “You are a goose.”
“What’s a goose?” asked the goose, whose only exposure to the world outside of the apartment had been through Wesley’s limited collection of books, mostly on history, and some television.
“It’s a bird,” said Wesley.
“What’s a bird?” asked the goose.
“They have feathers and fly and stuff,” said Wesley.
“I can fly?” asked the goose, startled.
“Not in here, you can’t,” said Wesley nervously.
“Can I go outside?” asked the goose.
“No,” said Wesley.
“Why not?” asked the goose.
“They… people… they might take you away from me. Study you. Do unpleasant experiments on you. It isn’t safe,” said Wesley.
“Can I go and see other birds?” asked the goose.
“They aren’t like you,” said Wesley.
“In what way?” asked the bird.
“They don’t talk,” said Wesley.
“They don’t?” asked the goose in surprise.
“Well, they chirp and stuff. Make noise. But they don’t speak like you and I do,” said Wesley.
“How do you communicate with them, then?” asked the goose.
“We don’t. They aren’t intelligent creatures. They are merely animals, driven solely by instinct,” said Wesley.
“So I’m all alone in the world?” asked the goose.
“No, of course not,” said Wesley, seeing the impending tears in the child’s eyes. With the way that the bird spoke, Wesley kept forgetting that he was merely a young kid. He still had much fuzz among his feathers. “You’re not alone. You have me.”
“You said that you weren’t my parent,” said the goose.
“I’m not. I’m your friend,” said Wesley.
“Really?” asked the goose.
“Really,” said Wesley, seeing just how vulnerable the creature really was. For the first time, Wesley stopped fearing him. He accepted him. Wesley suddenly had an idea of how he could cheer the young bird up. “So what names do you like?”
“I don’t know,” said the goose.
“Hmm,” said Wesley, thinking. Then he had an idea. His favorite old show had taken place on a space station. In the show, there was a character who, for many years, had no idea what his species was or what his people were like. He was all alone, until he made some friends, humans or aliens that looked sort of like humans, mostly. This goose was like that character. Wesley decided that he should be named after the man that played the part. “How about Auberjonis?”
“Auberjonis,” mulled the bird. “I like it, but it’s a bit long, don’t you think? Not very easy to say.”
“Auby, then, for short,” said Wesley.
“Auby. I like it!” said Auby. “That’s my name!”
“Good. I’m glad,” said Wesley with a smile. “Feeling better?”
“Yeah. I still wish I could go outside, though,” said Auby. Wesley pondered the new problem.
“I may have an idea,” said Wesley. “Let me show you how to work my computer.”
“Your computer?” asked Auby.
“Yeah. It’s an electronic box hooked up to a screen,” said Wesley. “You can visit web pages all over the world, and learn tons more than you could just be walking out the door. You can explore everything the entire planet has to offer without ever leaving this apartment.”
“It sounds neat!” said Auby.
“It is,” said Wesley.

May 6 B.G.

“Auby, I’m home! Dakota gave me this great new project. We need to study the Sphinx…,” began Wesley. He trailed off. Normally Auby would have responded by now. Pushing down a sweeping feeling of dread, Wesley dropped his leather attaché case, which he had swapped for his old knapsack in order to look more professional. Most guys didn’t make a living in the long term as a teacher’s assistant, although most didn’t work for Dr. Dakota Smith. The variety of projects that Dakota had for him, combined with fantastic pay from private donors funding the various projects, had convinced Wesley to keep the job for these past two school years, and probably many more beyond. This new, two story house and the leather case kept him from looking like a total loser in the process.
“Auby?” queried Wesley, straining to hear anything as he crossed from room to room, finding nothing. The spacious basement was dark. It was empty, wasted space. Auby wouldn’t be down there. Perhaps Wesley should turn it into some type of study room or something. A little drywall and some shelves and it could be quite cozy. Wesley headed for the second floor. Faintly, he heard a voice coming from the bedroom where Auby slept. Wesley tensed, then pushed open the door slightly, silently.
The goose was crouched over something, talking in a soft voice. Auby was saying, “Yes, yes. I did the reading. I just have a question about that research paper that you assigned on Petra. I…”
“Auby!” said Wesley. The goose jumped in startled surprise, whirled, hid something behind his back. Wesley advanced towards his quivering roommate, face set in anger.
“Oh, hi, Wes,” said Auby guiltily.
“What were you doing?” asked Wesley.
“Nothing. Just playing with your voice recorder,” said Auby.
“Let me see it,” demanded Wesley, holding out his hand. Chagrined, Auby pulled out Wesley’s sat phone from behind his back. Wesley had wondered why he hadn’t been able to find the device this morning. The human took the phone, making sure that the connection had been severed. It had.
“I’m sorry, Wesley. I…,” began Auby.
“Haven’t we talked about this?” asked Wesley.
“Yeah, I know,” said Auby. “I just wanted to try it once.”
“Who were you talking to?” asked Wesley, anger ebbing. He couldn’t blame the goose for his natural curiosity, even if it was unusually strong. He had never let Auby even touch a phone before, for any reason.
“Dakota. I pretended that I was a student. Don’t worry. I was careful. I didn’t give him my name or anything,” said Auby.
“Dakota probably wouldn’t have noticed if you did. He’s been busy,” said Wesley with a sigh. “It’s just too dangerous to do something like that. No one can know about you. They’d…”
“…take me away, I know,” said Auby. “Why don’t you tell Dakota about me? He’s a smart man. Maybe he can help us out.”
“Help us to do what?” asked Wesley.
“Figure out where I came from,” said Auby.
“From a mountain in Tibet,” said Wesley.
“Figure out why I’m special,” continued Auby. “There are questions that I want to know the answers to. Can’t you understand that?”
“Of course. It’s just too risky,” said Wesley.
“Don’t you trust Dakota? You’ve worked for him for years!” said Auby.
“I know. I do trust him,” said Wesley. “Maybe someday he can meet you. I just don’t know what purpose it would serve to tell him now.”
"It would keep you from carrying the secret alone,” said Auby.
“I’m not alone. I have you,” said Wesley.
“Yes, you do,” said Auby. “But you lead a lonely life. Your only friends are an old college professor and a shut in goose. You should get out, meet people, go on a date or something.”
“I don’t want to,” said Wesley.
“Why not?” asked Auby.
“Because you can’t, and it’s not fair for me to do those things when you are stuck in here, because of me!” said Wesley.
“Wes, I appreciate everything that you’ve done for me. Don’t blame yourself for my isolation. You have to have your own life,” said Auby.
“I don’t. I just… I want to be here for you,” said Wesley.
“You are. Thank you,” said Auby.
“Anytime,” said Wesley, smiling.
“Do you want to get a pizza or something?” asked Auby.
“Sure,” said Wesley.
“Can I order?” asked Auby.
“Ok, but just this once,” agreed Wesley.

August 6 B.G.

“What in the brack were you thinking?” asked Wesley angrily.
“Lay off, Wes. Zeke said…,” began Auby, walking further into the house, refusing to turn and face his roommate.
“I know what Zeke said, and I’m glad that you’re all right, but leaving the house like that was just stupid!” scolded Wesley, following the goose.
“Yeah, well, then I’m stupid,” said Auby, going up the stairs.
“Yes, you are!” shouted Wesley. Then he sighed and followed Auby up to his bedroom. “No, you’re not stupid. But that was a really foolish thing to do.”
“I just wanted to leave this brackin’ house. I am so tired of being trapped inside all of the time,” said Auby.
“You’re only two years old!” said Wesley. “All of the time for you translates into not that much time.”
“How would you like it if you never got to leave the house?” asked Auby. “If you couldn’t go outside to get the newspaper, couldn’t go to the store, couldn’t talk to another person?”
“I’d feel damn lucky that I wasn’t being tortured with experiments, a prisoner in some scummy lab!” said Wesley.
“I feel like a tortured prisoner now! It couldn’t get much worse than this,” said Auby.
“Auby, you were hurt pretty badly. I see you limping. You were lucky that you weren’t killed,” said Wesley.
“Well, I wasn’t,” said Auby. “Yeah, it was scary, and it was dangerous, but I actually got to walk through our neighborhood! I met a nice girl who saved me. And I got to meet Zeke. So I’m counting this trip as a success.”
“Fine. I can’t stop you from being an idiot!” said Wesley, turning and going into his own room, slamming the door behind him. For a moment Auby felt victorious, but that moment quickly passed. Soon, he felt lousy.
“Hey, Wes,” said Auby gently as he pushed open Wesley’s door. The TA was sitting on his bed, back to the entry, face in his hands, shoulders shaking.
“I’m sorry,” said Auby, jumping onto the bed and putting a comforting wing on his friend’s shoulders.
“No, I’m sorry. I should be more understanding,” said Wesley.
“You were scared,” said Auby, understanding now where Wesley’s anger had come from.
“Darn right I was. I was terrified. It’s been the worst couple of days of my life,” said Wesley. “I didn’t know where you had gone, if anything had happened to you… I was scared to death that someone had found out about you, and that you were gone forever.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” said Auby. “It was selfish of me. I didn’t even think about what you…”
“It’s ok,” said Wesley. “It’s all over now.”
“Actually, we still have a situation,” said Auby.
“What?” asked Wesley.
“Now Dakota knows about me,” said Auby.
“Brack,” said Wesley. “I shouldn’t have told him. I wonder what he’s going to do?”
“Let’s hope that he’s understanding,” said Auby.

May 1 B.G. ~ Dr. Smith’s Base

Wesley stood and wiped away the tear from his eye. Dakota had been extremely understanding, not pushy, choosing to leave them alone, although Wesley hadn’t realized why until much later. He never had seen Zeke again, although he made a mental note to ask Dr. Smith about the man later. But those days were long gone. Meredith was crazy, Dakota was across the ocean, and Auby was… well, who knew where Auby was? He was among his people. The goose was finally free to go wherever he wanted to, and lead a real life. For that fact alone, Wesley was happy for him.
The research head sat down at his computer terminal and called up a view of the outside world. It made him feel like he had a window, despite being so far below ground. He watched a sparrow flutter between branches, chirping happily. Wesley looked on, trying to let the peaceful scene wrestle down his bittersweet nostalgia. He missed Auby.

Hundreds of miles away, Auby looked off in the direction that he knew Dr. Smith’s base was in. He actually was looking out a real window, and he, too, saw a sparrow chirping happily. His heart ached.
“Auby, are you ok?” asked his lover, Jenas.
“I’m fine,” said Auby, trying to keep his revulsion of her down. She left, without pressing him. He looked back out the window with longing and added quietly, “I just miss my friend.”